Jolenes great fun run for sands, in memory of taylor

Thanks for coming to look at my page, If you know me you would have known my story, but to those who dont this is my story,4 years ago I fell pregnant not long after getting married, i was shocked as wasnt planned, but it became something i was looking forward to and was looking forward to my xmas bundle i was going to have,I was very ill during my pregnancy in and out of hospital , the hospital told me all was good with the baby and that some pregnancys just arent very good, this was my first time pregnant so i took there word, towards the time i was given bad news i couldnt even move, my husband had to help me in and out of the bath help clean me cause if i moved i was just in agony, i still remember talking to another pregnant friend who was due on the same day as me and saying if the babys ok i think theres something seriously wrong with me, few weeks later i went for my scan, my biggest worry was that i wouldnt find out the sex, wow wish that was my biggest worry,when i turnt up and was in scanning room the nurse told me the baby was being a bugger to get a picture of , she then turnt the screen away , i had no worries i have been told this baby is fine a dozen times, there just trying to get the picture theyd been trying for a while, and then the nurse says im sorry your baby is going to die, yep!! that bluntley, i had to wait 5 hours of the best consultant in the uk to come down to my hospital the longest 5 hours of my life , he confirmed my baby had a rare condition called anachalphy, WHAT!! im 21 i didnt drink or smoke my baby doesnt have any rare conditions, but no matter how much denial i wanted , my baby wasnt going to live, i was told i would be booked in to give birth to him the following week , i was so ill and weak, they didnt know if taylors condition was causing this, the doctors talked at me telling me what was going to happen and all i could think is no this isnt happening to me, the following week i went in to give birth a 40 hours full on labour, my body wasnt ready to let go off Taylor and neither was I, the hospital left me on my own occasionaly coming in to check on me, i wont go into the ins and outs of how they treated me but i had to wait 11 hours to see my boy after he was born, when i asked the nurse what i had, she said i have more important cases, i wasnt allowed to hold my baby he was just placed in front of me in a basket and i was watched like a hawk, i had him christened and the hospital took him away, 4 years on i live with this grieve that doesnt leave me, the post traumatic stress disorder watching the birth and the way the hospital treated me like im watching a movie, I couldnt of survived this without some good friends and places like sands, who sent me emails to talk to me sends me mothers day cards xmas cards and cards on taylors birthday just to say were thinking of you, sands offer all information what is available without patrinising you, 4 years on i still feel like i let my son down, so this year i will be doing the big fun run along with another baby loss mummy in our sons memory, i finally want to feel i have done something good in his memory and in the process help a charity that helps so many heart broken parents, so i ask you to dig in your pocket no matter how little or how big and donate to a worthy cause, I know it may not be something that touched your heart, but for a second look at your children or your neice or nephew and just think how youd cope or your family would cope in such a tragic situation, I aim to raise £100 but i hope to raise more if possible, so please pass my page around your friends and your groups, so many amazing woman are united within there grieve, if my run and fundraising can make one mother or father feel less alone, it would have been all worthwhile xxx