Even Chuck Norris Can't Stop Darren McFadden!!!

That's right... Even the mighty Chuck Norris is no match for Darren McFadden!!!

Darren McFadden’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Darren McFadden.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Darren McFadden can piss his name into concrete.

Darren McFadden once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Darren McFadden can kill 100 percent of whatever the he wants.

Darren McFadden counted to infinity - twice.

Darren McFadden’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Darren McFadden was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Darren McFadden can speak braille.

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Darren McFadden’s sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Darren McFadden died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Superman owns a pair of Darren McFadden pajamas.

Darren McFadden puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Darren McFadden does not get tackled. He merely allows the opposing team to "tackle" him to make the game more interesting.

Darren McFadden is the only person on the planet that can stiff arm you in the back of the face.

Darren McFadden can slam revolving doors.

Darren McFadden doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just signal touchdown when they touch his body.

Darren McFadden sleeps with a night light. Not because Darren McFadden is afraid of the dark, but the dark and opposing defenses are afraid of Darren McFadden.

Once while LSU was watching game footage of Darren McFadden, the screen went completely white after a hand-off. The defensive coordinator simply smiled and replied "Damn! He broke another projector!" Because everyone knows... no human creation can ever capture perfection.

Darren McFadden does not run because the word running implies the feeling of fear. Darren McFadden carries the football to the endzone.

Once a defensive back hit McFadden in the legs. 5 months later the DB was able to walk again.

Darren McFadden doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Darren McFadden’s wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, "Time for another touchdown."

Darren McFadden divides by zero.

Darren McFadden was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

When Darren McFadden gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left till he runs over you.


Darren McFadden is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate an Indian.

Darren McFadden’s dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Darren McFadden will not take shit from anyone.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Darren McFadden.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Darren McFadden’s PC will crash.

When Darren McFadden looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Darren McFadden and Darren McFadden.

Giraffes were created when Darren McFadden stiff armed a horse.

When Darren McFadden exercises, the machine gets stronger.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Darren McFadden says its beef, then it's beef.

Darren McFadden doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."


Darren McFadden once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

McFadden is nimble, McFadden is quick, and every time he runs, defenses across the country get sick.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Darren McFadden can touch this.

Darren McFadden can build a snowman out of rain.

Darren McFadden plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.

Darren McFadden once stiff armed a man in the soul.

Darren McFadden is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his stiff arm and spin move.

Darren McFadden can kill two stones with one bird.

Darren McFadden did that to Michael Jackson's face with a stiff arm that shook the Earth, and caused a volcanic eruption.

There are no weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. Darren McFadden lives in Arkansas.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Darren McFadden can go up Niagara Falls with nothing but his cleats.

We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Darren McFadden doesn't believe in magic.

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Darren McFadden is.

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Darren McFadden didn't rape your team while you while you were sleeping.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Darren McFadden and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Darren McFadden once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression "Shitting bricks" wasn't just a figure of speech.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Darren McFadden has been there. In that case the grass is most likely tore up and covered with defensive players crying.

The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Darren McFadden. This amuses Darren McFadden because he is bulletproof.

The only time Darren McFadden was wrong was... well McFadden has never been wrong.

When lightning strikes Darren McFadden, Darren McFadden strikes back.

When Darren McFadden breaks the law, the law doesn't heal.

Darren McFadden can tie his shoes with his feet.

Darren McFadden can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who Darren McFadden is.

Darren McFadden’s action figure has slept with more women then most men.

On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a football that said, "Darren McFadden was here."


The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Darren McFadden.

Darren McFadden can drown a fish.

Darren McFadden does not know where you live, but he knows where he will own you... on the gridiron.

Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Darren McFadden.

Darren McFadden once finished "The Song that Never Ends".

Darren McFadden used to beat the hell out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

Defenders dodge Darren McFadden.

When Darren McFadden answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.

The last digit of pi is Darren McFadden. He is the end of all things.

Darren McFadden has only one hand: the upper hand.

Darren McFadden once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

Darren McFadden once juked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Darren McFadden doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Darren McFadden what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he replies “Till I score another touchdown.�?

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Darren McFadden instead decided to run his way out of his mother's womb.

Since Darren McFadden’s birth, broken ankles due to insane spins have increased 13,000 percent.


Darren McFadden does not sleep. He waits.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have been shook out of their shoes by Darren McFadden.

The chief export of Darren McFadden is touchdowns.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Darren McFadden.

If you can see Darren McFadden, he can see you. If you can't see Darren McFadden, then look towards the end zone because he’s already scored.

God offered Darren McFadden the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super spins and amazing running ability.


Darren McFadden has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Darren McFadden doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Answer: Darren McFadden.

Darren McFadden invented touchdowns.

This group is dedicated to spreading the word about the greatest running back in college football!!! McFadden "THE NEXT HEISMAN CANDIDATE!!!"