You know you're from Asheville if...

If any of the below points apply, you're probably either from Asheville or friends with a true Ashevillian.

I found some of these online and added some of my own. Send any suggestions if there's anything else that you think should be on the list.

You know you're from Asheville if...

1...the word Patton means driving around in circles on "the strip" and yelling out the windows for fun. least one day out of the weekend you always end up at the movies for fun. remember Cool World before it was Fusions or Club Biltmore. know everytime we get something good they close it down because we never know how to act. snow flake means a snow day! know everyone in the 'Ville by now.

7...half those people are related to you. know what "Malfunction Junction" is.

9...someone says "Lexington Avenue" and you don't need an explination. know "Leicester" is pronounced "Lester." know that Asheville is not spelled "Ashville" and it bothers you when you see it spelled wrong. wait until January to go to Biltmore House because that's when they offer half-price tickets to locals. know that people shop at the Biltmore Square Mall only as a last resort.'ve had to wait in traffic because an impromptu drum circle broke out in the crosswalk up ahead.'ve had your picture taken or know someone who has had their picture taken astride the bigger of the two bronze pigs in Pack Square.'ve heard about the old bum who pisses on that pig every morning because he hates tourists.

19...your house, your parents' house, and your friends' houses are all haunted. don't consider a house a home unless it has at least one ghost. can successfully navigate Malfunction Junction. never leave home without a good book, say, the complete works of Marcel Proust, in case there's a wreck on I-26, I-40, or God forbid both of them. know about all the really scary and violent news that never makes it into the papers for fear that it would scare the tourists. either wouldn't be caught dead at Bele Chere or wouldn't miss it for the world. think the city should hire someone to put funny hats on the statue of "Childhood" in Pack Square to save you the trouble of having to do it. And speaking of... know at least one person who likes to dress up their gargoyles according to the season, such as when they put bunny ears on them at Easter. wonder how things would be different if "Thong-Man" had won his race for City Council.'ll never remember what business used to be located at 329 Merrimon Avenue, but that shrieking, repetitive jingle that said the address over and over and over and over in the background of their TV commercials will be the last thing to ever cross your mind before you die. know that turn signals are for the tourists.'ve ever sat in Pack Square waiting for a date while, simultaneously, a war protest is going on by the Vance Monument, a busload of tourists go into the art museum, twenty people walk by with dreadlocks and smelling like patchouli oil, fifteen people walk by with dogs of varying sizes, two people walk by with cellos, and a crazy guy in a wheelchair pulls up to the angel statue and starts screaming at it, telling it that God is upset with its behavior and it had better shape up pronto before zooming off again. know someone or have ever taken a picture of someone that has humped the waterfountain girl know the difference between the Asheville Tourists, and Those Damned Tourists know it's not "Asheville Pizza and Brewing Company"'s "Brew and View". know where Helen's Bridge is, and why it's called that did cry or almost cried when Bean Streets didn't reopen know that the Jackson Building is haunted and may have seen the ghost yourself. hear that someone is protesting for public bathrooms after 9pm by wearing only an adult diper and walking around downtown and you think that's a great idea.

38... if you or someone you know has ever referred to the Vance Monument as "the giant penis."

39...if seeing an iron immediately makes you think of Wall Street.

40...if you know where ashevegas is, and hate hearing it called that've ever made out on the parkway've protested Wal-Mart Supercenter just cuz you know its going to ruin your secret way of avoiding Tunnel Rd during the holidays. can name, or were an extra, in at least 5 movies made in Asheville:
Last of the Mohicans
My Fellow Americans (I mean, who didn't rush down to Haywood St to be an extra in the pride parade?)
Forest Gump
Richie Rich
Patch Adams
Dirty Dancing
...etc learned how to play chess from the Beanstreets table.'ve ever judged a person by their zipcode..."'re a 28804" remember the switch from 704 to 828 never grow out of getting your icecream at The Hop, and miss those freaky paintings they used to have in the drivethru.'ve sat at Old Europe until they kick you out (only to move on to Denny's or Waffle House to keep the coffee flowing) matter where you moved you always miss those beautiful mountains know yellow means speed up and red means two more. spell and say it "Ashevillain" just for fun. know all the back roads around Patton so you can still get anywhere on a weekend night. matter where you are you always compare it to the mountains can successfully drive down merrimon doing the speed limit or above know it is either going to rain everyday in the spring or be dry as a bone know what the French Broad is and why you shouldn't swallow the water

57...never put away your 'winter clothes' until AT LEAST June.

58...don't take the Transit Bus unless you are fully prepared to experience a ride like something you would find at Universal Studios know that Canton. know the other smells...are hippies. can give perfect directions to the biltmore estate, even if you've never been there

62...even if it's a bently, it still has a bumper sticker on it know what/where the cut is know where the Woolsey Dip is've ever tried to use the parkway as a shortcut and ended up behind leaf-watchers. (aka floridiots) are tired of people mistaking when you say Asheville for Nashville know all about marijauna and all of its aspects yet never smoked it

68...anything weird you see does not appear wierd because you have seen it all...., or someone you know goes to Harvard... on the hill

70...your resume says ...Grove Park Inn or Biltmore under work experience see the sign for underground and first things comes to your mind is Charlotte Street Bar and Pub

72...wait, you mean half the population of the rest of the world doesn't have dread locks?

73...a black guy on a bridge ,in a confederate uniform, waving a confederate battle flag, marching back and forth, doesn't faze you

74...if you feel guilty walking around Downtown holding a Starbucks coffee

75...if You've ever looked for the Pink Lady's room at the Grove Park Inn, and either found it or got too scared when you realized there was no room 5045.

76... if You can shortcut from Charlotte street to Merrimon in more than two places.

77... if You know which side of Prichard Park is the "rich" side, and which one is the "poor" side.

78...if you've ever been dancing next to a hot girl in a tank top at belle cher and when she lift her arms she has more hair then you

79...You know that the Pack Place Library's Parking Deck (at the top) is a great place to chill

80... If you know all the homeless people by name, wether it's their given name or one that you made up for them.

81... If you've ever skipped class to go to the mellow mushroom

82... If you or any of you're friends have ever been on a ghost hunting excursion

83... If you know that McCormick Field is the place to be on Thirsty Thursdays

84... If you miss the Hot Shot Cafe... may it rest in peace

85... If you remember the big indian that stood out front of Harry's on the Hill

86...You know that "BILTMORE" is taking over everything

87...You watch a car with a buy Local Food bumper sticker turn into a gated community built where a farm used to be.

88...You remember the Ingles that used to be where the empty parking lot on Charlotte street is now.

89...You remember the "Take Ten" arcade in the mall... loong before there was alladin's castle

90....You JOINED THIS GROUP!!!!!

if you guys have any more that you would like posted, just message Devon or Josh and we'll see what we can do to get them up