Kingsford Apaches

The best cricket club in Sydney's eastern suburbs, and possibly... the World.

How serious is it?
The name of the game is to have fun, we're not playing for Australia or vast amounts of money. That being said, winning is a lot more fun than losing, so you'll find there's a strong competitive streak in the club, as well as in the other teams you'll face. In fact, some of them are blatant cheating bastards.

How many teams are there and how long is the season?
The Apaches now have three teams, playing in the lower grades of the Moore Park and South Eastern Cricket Association. Each grade has 6-8 teams in it.
There are 14 or 15 rounds in the competition, which runs from September to March with a 6 week break around Christmas.
We also play in the SMCA Winter Comp

Where do you play?
Moore Park, as well as grounds maintained by Randwick, Botany and Marrickville councils. Most pitches are concrete covered with Astroturf. Some are of a useful width, others are very VERY skinny. Occasionally we play on turf pitches of variable quality. Most of the grounds are built on sand, so they drain very well. If it's raining in the morning, there's a very good chance you'll be able to play in the afternoon.
Check out the grounds list on the website for maps and location details.

How long is a game?
Most matches are played over two weeks on consecutive Saturday afternoons. Start at 1.15, finish at 5.45pm, and bowl 70 overs in the meantime. This means that you need to be available for both weekends, otherwise you'll be leaving your team short. A couple of rounds are one day matches, which start a little earlier, and finish a little later - 40 overs a side. Turf pitch matches are played on Sunday - a full day from 9.30am - 5.30pm.

What do you wear?
White pants, shoes that are mainly white, and the Apaches club shirt. If you're only playing a couple of games for us, we'll lend you one. But they're so comfy and stylish that we reckon you'll want to get your own - they come as part of the registration fees for Summer. If you've got some, cricket boots with sprigs aren't allowed on the astroturf pitches. Tennis shoes are fine.

What should I bring to a game?
A hat, sunnies, and sunscreen are all good ideas. Bring something to keep you warm during the early part of the season - Spring isn't Summer. Something to eat is a good idea too, and something to read when we're batting.

Do I need my own gear?
No. Each team has a complete kit with all the gear you need, including helmets. Of course, if you've got your own stuff, bring it along.

How much does it cost to play?
$120 per season including a team shirt - the cheapest club we know of.

There are also some other expenses that come up from time to time. If you have an umpire assigned to your game, the team has to come up with about $40 a day or face unlimited LBW decisions against them. We've also played with fines for a few years now, as a tool to inspire better performances from players and raising money to cover the bar tab at our semi-regular restaurant binges. $5 for a duck, $5 for a dropped catch (captain's discretion applies about these) and 50 cent wides / no balls / byes.

Who picks the teams?
The team captains do. We try to make sure that everyone who wants to gets to play as much as possible. The draw is up on the website, so if you want to make the captains' jobs easier, let us know as far as you can in advance when you will and won't be available.

Who umpires the games?
Most of the time, the batting team does. This means that LBWs are pretty rare, unless you find someone who hates the guys he's playing with. Sometimes a neutral umpire will be appointed to a game. They're not necessarily any easier to deal with than a member of the opposite team, but they do stop a lot of the crap that can happen from time to time from getting out of hand.

What about sledging?
Thanks to Ian Chappell, that fat old motherf#&ker, it's part of the Australian way of playing cricket. No c-words please. Out and out abuse isn't on, but clever taunts or comments about the (lack of) ability of an opposition player is all part of the fun.
(Note: we're also reknowned for sledging ourselves better than the opposition ever can... - Webko)

What if I get injured?
Everyone who plays is covered by a personal injury policy held by Cricket Australia. The details and fine print need to be checked for this year but it's a pretty good Personal Injury policy

What if I don't know anyone in the team?
Don't worry about it. The Apaches are a pretty friendly bunch, and if you play for us, you'll be one of us, one of us, one of us…

Do you practice at all?
Yep. Various members of the club run sessions in the eastern suburbs, the inner west and sometimes more on the northside - keep your ear to the ground...

I haven't played this game for years, and I think I'm pretty crap at it. Does that matter?
Only if you're not willing to try your best. We're all playing because we enjoy this stupid game, some of us are getting better at it, some of us are going the other way.

I've heard that park cricket is nothing more than an excuse to drink beer, is that true?
You need an excuse?
No, but seriously…
Seriously, some of us don't drink beer.
But you do drink?
We're not koalas you know.

My question isn't on this list, who should I talk to?
Contact us and ask away.