Islamic Marriage Guide

Get married----Nikah (Marriage) is Sunnah(way, tradition) of Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W- Peace be upon him)

And Allah has made for you your mates(spouse-husband and wife) of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best. (16:72) The Holy Quran

Since family is the basic unit of society, Islam lays great emphasis on the family system and its values. The basis of family is marriage. Islam prescribes rules to regulate family life so that both the spouses can live in tranquility, security and love.

Allah says in Quran

(ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة إن في ذلك لآيات لقوم يتفكرون):

“And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates (spouses) of your own kind (from among yourself) ,so that you may dwell (live) in tranquility(satisfaction) with them, and He has put love and mercy for one another: Surely in that are Signs for those who reflect(wise people).” (Quran 30:21)

Marriage is one of the most important acts of worship in Islam.Marriage in Islam has aspects of `ibadah (worship) of Allah (God) in the sense that it is in accordance with His commandments that a husband and wife should love and help each other and rear their children to become true servants of Allah (God).Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu layhi Wasallam) has told us how to live as a Muslim, and one of the branches of faith is marriage. It has been thus narrated in a Hadeeth of Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) :

"When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." ( Marriage quotation from Bayhqi)

Allah gives a clear order in the Qur'an:

Marry off those amongst you who are not married (single or people who don't have a spoue) and marry those who are capable of marrying from your male and female slaves. If they are poor (then don't worry) Allah will enrich them out of His grace, Allah (God) is ample giving and All-knowing) . And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His Bounty

(Chapter 24 Sura Noor, Verse 32-33)

Hadhrat 'Abdullah رضي الله عنه narrates that:

"We were with the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) صلي الله عليه و سلم while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Prophet Muhammad صلي الله عليه و سلم said,

"O young people! Whoever amongst you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze (looks) and guard his modesty (Nikah is safer for your private parts because Nikah prevents a person from doing zina i.e adultery-fornication), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting is a shield for him (from desires)." (Sahih Muslim, Sahih al-Bukhari)

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) also said:

“Nikah (marriage) is my Sunna (tradtion). He who shuns (avoids, rejects) my Sunna is not of me.” (Muslim)

Prophet Muhammad (S) considered simple weddings the best weddings:

'The best wedding is that upon which the least trouble and expense is bestowed". (Mishkat)

Narrated Anas bin Malik:

Once Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) saw some women and children coming from a wedding party. He got up energetically and happily and said, “By Allah! You (i.e., the Ansar) are the most beloved of all people to me.”

The Book of Wedlock & Marriage -Sahih Bukhari – Book 7, Volume 62, Hadith 109

Narrated Abu Hurayrah:

When the Prophet (peace be upon him) congratulated a man on his marriage, he said: May Allah bless for you, and may He bless on you, and combine both of you in good (works).

{Book 11, Number 2125 : Sunan Abu Dwud}

Nikah is a great bounty from Allah Ta'ala. The affairs of this world and the hereafter are put in order through marriage. There is a lot of wisdom and many benefits in marriage. A person saves himself from sinning and his heart is put at ease. He does not have any evil intentions and his thoughts do not begin to wander and stray. The greatest virtue is that there are only benefits and only rewards in this virtuous act. This is because a husband and wife’s sitting together and engaging in a loving conversation, joking with each other, etc. is better than nafl salat.The Prophet Muhammad said (saw),

”When a husband and wife look at each other with love, Allah looks at both of them with mercy.” (Sahih Bukhari 6:19 Tirmidhi 14:79)

Husband and wife should respect each other and they should understand their mutual rights and responsibilities.

"And (wives) shall have rights similar to those (the husbands have) over them, in accordance with justice, (except that) husbands' rights are a degree greater." (2:228) Holy Quran

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard. (Aayah No. 34, Surah An-Nisa', Chapter No. 4, Holy Qur'an).

Narrated Ibn Umar (RA): The Prophet (PBUH) said, "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your words. The ruler is a guardian and the man is a guardian of his family; the wife is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his off-spring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your words."

(Hadith No. 5200, Book of Nikah, Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 7).

Al-Tirmidhi, Narrated Amr ibn al-Ahwas al-Jushami

The Prophet said, "...Listen! You have your rights upon your wives and they have their rights upon you. Your right is that they shall not allow anyone you dislike, to trample your bed and do not permit those whom you dislike to enter your home. Their right is that you should treat them well in the matter of food and clothing."

Allah says in Quran

هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَكُمْ وَأَنْتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَهُنَّ

"They are libas (i.e. body cover, screen, dress) for you and you are the same for them."[Sûrah al-Baqarah: 187]

Allah chose to use the word “Libas (clothing)” rather than any other word to describe the special relationship between a man and his wife. It requires that a husband and wife should be as Libas(dress,clothing,garment) for each other. Just as garments are for protection, comfort, show and concealment for human beings, Allah expects husbands and wives to be (the same as garment) for one another.

Islamic teachings for the selection of a spouse

In islam, Taqwa (piety) of a person is the primary criteria that must be considered while selecting a spouse .As the best of all leaders, the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) knew his community well and understood that there are very real considerations that must be taken into account when selecting a spouse.Therefore, the most comprehensive advice given regarding the choice of a spouse is the teaching of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) who said, on the authority of Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him),

"A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious(righteous and pious) woman (otherwise) you will be losers." (Al-Bukhari, Book 62, hadith 27).

A Poor Pious Man is a Better Marriage Suitor than a Rich Man Who is Not Pious

Hadith - Bukhari 7.28, Narrated Sahl

A man passed by Allah's Apostle and Allah's Apostle asked (his companions) "What do you say about this (man)?"

They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand, he ought to be given her in marriage; and if he intercedes (for someone) his intercessor should be accepted; and if he speaks, he should be listened to."

Allah's Apostle kept silent, and then a man from among the poor Muslims passed by, an Allah's Apostle asked (them) "What do you say about this man?"

They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand in marriage he does not deserve to be married, and he intercedes (for someone), his intercession should not be accepted; And if he speaks, he should not be listened to." Allah's Apostle corrected the companions and said,

"This poor man is better than so many of the first as filling the earth."

Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3090, Narrated Abu Hurairah, r.a.

Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.' [Tirmidhi, Nasa'i and Ibn Majah]

Sayyiduna Ali ibn Abi Talib (Radhiallaahu Anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, ‘Three things should not be delayed; The Salaat when it’s time has set in, the Janaaza Salaat when the deceased is prepared and present and the marriage of an unwedded woman when her Kufu (match) is found.’ (Tirmidhi; Mustadrak Hakim vol.2 pg.162)

Imam Haakim and Haafiz al-Dhahabi have graded this Hadith as Sahih (authentic).

May Allah grant us grace to follow the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) and give us spouse whom Allah loves. Amen

Dua for happiness and success in marriage

The Importance of a good wife to her husband (and of course vice versa) is Great to Allah (SWT). Nothing can illustrate the point better than the Qur'anic statement which describes the righteous people as those who pray:

وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

"Rabba-na hab la-na min azwaji-na wa dhuriyyati-na qurrata a'yunin wa aj'al-na li al muttaqin imama"

"Our Lord! make our spouse and children the joy of our eyes, and make us Leaders of God fearing people” Sura 25-Al-Furqan Verse 74

May Allah give all believing men and women, married or looking to marry, the towfeeq (grace) to be the ideal Muslim husband and the ideal Muslim wife with His Divine help and guidance.