A group where all those who went to King Alfreds School in the bustling metropolis that is Highbridge (not Burnham!!) and survived the experience to become well rounded human beings, can come and share their musings on life and their time at KA's.
Did time at King Alf's?? Not in prison, working at Somerfields, on the dole or had to change your name to avoid detection? Than join this group and catch up with your old classmates. Not seen that person you used to hang out in the Willows with all those years ago? Who knows, you might come across them now, and on here you can talk to them without fear of getting chased by Mr Peak or that crazy caretaker guy who looked like Where's Wally?
Judging by the length of that opening sentence i learnt nothing about English from either Mr Heal, Miss Bird or Mr Cooper. Or that short bloke who used to teach English in the 90's and looked like Swiss Toni or someone as equally wideboy (Mr Spencer apparently)
Am looking for some names of legendary teachers to put in a list to go in this group description. Kind of a King Alfs teachers "roll of (dis)honour".
Post your suggestions on the wall and we'll get a list going, i'll start off with a few already suggested:
(Thanks to those who made suggestions. Sorry for not crediting you and just stealing them word for word, what can i say, i used to get taught English by Mrs Doolan and we all thought she was a witch so i never learnt anything)
MR (BOB) PEAK - Equal parts wild eyed, flame haired insane fool and intellectual genius.
MR DAVIDSON - The most Scottish man in the world. Knew more about physics than Einstein and Mr Peak put together. Always wore a vest, even in the height of summer, and always had erect nipples.
Caught his tie on fire over the bunsen burner. And another bunsen burner related incident when a huge pile of his organised papers blew across the flame and caught fire.
MR COBB - And the bottle of whisky he kept in his desk. (Rest in peace, Ramblin' Jack)
MR STEARNS - One of the germans off "Dude! Where's my car?!" looking for the continuum transfunctioner with calves of steel. And had very girly handwriting.
MR STOREY - Professional stunt double for Michael Barrymore
MR SMITH - And his Hulk Hogan moustache. The Silver Fox.
MR YEOMANSON - And Yeomo's wart (aka 'Mr. Yeomanson's Deputy Head')
MISS PARDEY - And her twelve tracksuits (all worn on top of one another, while everyone half-froze to death during PE...)
Dirty Frank the Tech bloke
MADAME THORNE - And her fruity French accent
MISS PROUDFOOT - Who's idea of teaching RE was to play a video showing last nights episode of 'The Bill'.
MR TATTERTON - Your atypical gruff Northerner and his ever-increasing baldness. Always seemed to be having his motorbike stolen.
MRS DOUBLEDAY - And her moments of incoherent depression. "Was good value, although it largely depended upon what pills she'd taken that day as to whether she bounced around the room, or stared blankly at a wall."
MR MADDY - And his flashbacks to the Somme. Also "he used to call us his dolly mixtures and we used to find it funny shouting out bullet cause he used to go red in the face and get mad!"
MR ABLETT- And his unhealthy obsession with the Duke of Edinburgh Award Scheme
MRS ELLENER - And her utter randomness. Also had googly eyes and once cooked a rat for her class.
MR CAWLEY - And his little hut by the gym where he would shout at you and drench you in his spittle.
MR HIGMAN (Penfold) - And his membership of the 'Sausage Appreciation Society'. Wore a little badge with a sausage on it and had sausage- themed Christmas cards
MR HEAL - Seemingly loved by 90% of the people in this group. Greatest music taste of any teacher Bob Dylan, Frank Zappa, The Undertones etc and once made it into the pages of 'Q' Magazine with a letter regarding "Ever Fallen in Love" by The Undertones being one of the greatest songs ever.
Also legendary for his board rubber throwing antics. Had a Full size snooker table and jukebox in his house and told stories about being a bus conductor.
MRS MORGAN - The greatest Drama teacher ever and ran it all from her Drama cave.
MR GAFAR - Egytian Maths teacher, looked like a Bond villian.
MRS BIRD - The most sweet and mumsy English teacher ever, but she knew her stuff. And nearly everyone fancied her.
MR WILLIAMS - For his ablity to make you believe you were capable when no one else had faith. Taught Business Studies and looks like Mr Bean.
The whole decade of the 1980s compressed into one man, he taught me all there is to know about the economy of life and the lexicon of love (an album by the band ABC).
MR BRIGGS - Ginger geography teacher and triathlete (if i remember)
DR BUTLER - Chemistry teacher. One of the most disorganised teachers i ever met. My absolute favorite lesson ever was the day he set his hand, arm and a table on fire in an A-level lesson trying to heat ethanol over a bunsen burner. made only funnier by the fact it was just after the comment of 'Are you sure you should be doing that sir?'
DR BRICE - "There can't be one person out there that ever took his dance lesson that hasn't performed a "sparkle sparkle" onsome dance floor since leaving King Alfs". Used to wear a tights, leotard, a skin tight top and bin liners. When he got angry he used to grab his curly head, then outstretch his arms and stamp his feet.
Did Kazdance and smelt of Garlic.
MISS WITHY - Think she became Miss Macey-Withy. Super fit PE and part-time RE Teacher.
MR SPENCER - scouse English teacher who played guitar in assemblies and used to get the tables in a big square in the middle of the room to do 'parliment'. Had a sports mullet and looked like Bruno Brookes.
MR ENDALL - John Richard Charles Endall (JRCE on your class timetable) Everyone called him Charlie Endall for some reason even though it wasn't his name. "I had sex ed with him, one of the single most excrutiating experiences of my life as he referred throughout to the male reproductive organ as "the tail."
Now has his own gardening business and drives round in a little van - "the Endall mobile".
MRS JAMES - French teacher, and oddly sexy.
MISS SHIPPEN - Gargantuan French teacher
MR (BOB) LIDGEY - "Squidgey Lidgey". Also known as Mario. "The best teacher that school will ever have & im sure that any one who ever had him as a form tutor will agree with me".
MR MENZIES - Aka Ming the Merciless. Used to like talking about flanges... a lot.
The Science prep/tech guy who used to wear sandals. Surely someone should have checked his CRB clearance.
MRS KIDNER - English teacher
MS DURRELL - Bonkers Art teacher
MRS SANDERS - Really old french teacher. When she shouted the veins would pop out of her neck and she would spit eveywhere!
MR CHILD - Geography teacher who couldn't control a class to save his life. Looked about 15
MRS BRASS - "was affectionately named in one of my constructive writing tasks, "the demon with sticks (because of her crutches) an amazing teacher"
MRS WARD
MRS CHURCHILL - Grey haired Home Economics teacher, who looked a bit like a witch.